Allie, it's all right. I just thought you'd surely know. It was always a bit obvious to me but it was his business, you know, none of mine.

It's just. He's, what, 21 now? Merlin, I was - well, I'd already been making up for lost time in muggle clubs for nearly four years at that point. And Muggle clubs in the 1970s, well. Protection wasn't really on anyone's mind.

This Richard bloke. D'you reckon he was a virgin before Danny, as well? Or might he already know his way 'round the farm, if you take my meaning.

I know you raised him but he's a man grown, Allie. Bloody awkward way to strike up a conversation: 'Hey, your adoptive mum thinks you need lessons in shirt-lifting.'

Look. You tell him you've asked me and if he or Richard have any questions, they can write to me, all right? No taking the piss, no larking about it, I promise I'll give them real answers. Okay? But I'm not just going to write out of the blue because that'll just traumatise the little poufter blighter.