I don't know if Sirius or anyone else told you, but I didn't transform. It would be downright ungrateful to whinge about how I feel today. But the wolf was very close all night, and so I don't remember a great deal.
I'm terribly groggy. Achy. Exhausted. A little restless, but nothing like before the moon. I suppose you must feel that way, too, every month? I don't have any idea if it would be worse or better if I had completely transformed.
Also, rather embarrassed. About some of the things that Terry must have seen. I am going to write to him to thank him, because he really did help, but I'm afraid it will be a little awkward. I mean, I was glad he was there in the end, really glad. But I don't know if I can ask it of him to do it again next month.
There isn't much dignity about it, is there? None at all, really.
I usually have a pretty bad headache the day after. Very strong tea helps, and there's a pain-relief potion that takes the edge off.
The days before the moon got better at some point. Your body and mind adjust a bit. Not that I'm exactly in a good mood, mind you, but I can manage. You'll get used to it. Next month won't be as bad.
It is not dignified. Nothing about it is dignified. But that's true of so much, Luna. Think of the other wounds that people suffered in the battle where you were bitten. There's no particular dignity to suffer a curse that leaves you unconscious in a pool of your bodily fluids, carried to the hospital wing by a benevolent friend; there's nothing dignified about nightmares or panic attacks. The dignity comes in how you got those wounds, doesn't it?
I don't know if you've ever read the obituary I wrote for Arthur Weasley, where I said that when he gave his life, he didn't see Dominic Selwyn as a Death Eater but as a fellow human being in mortal danger.
You did the same, you know; you didn't see Lavender as the pureblood bully who did her best to make your life miserable You saw her as a fellow human being in mortal danger, and you went to her aid. And you paid a price. It's a price you get to live with for the rest of your life. Which will hopefully be long, and happy for 27 days out of every 28.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'll blame it on the moon.
Madam Pomfrey already offered me the potion. I think it is helping a little. I'm just mostly staying quietly in my room. Being with Colin is helping. He's been quite sweet.
I'm glad to hear the full moons will most likely get better for me. You're right: this isn't any different than any number of kinds of wounds. That gives me a little more courage to write to Terry. And I should write to Hermione, too. Sally-Anne told me she was there for a little while.
I do remember what you wrote for Mr Weasley. You're kind...I became rather choked up at the suggestion I might be even a little bit like him. I did love and admire him quite a lot.
I've wondered whether I would be allowed to return to Hogwarts next year. (If the school will even open, of course.) I think the fact that I didn't transform will mean there will be less obstacles, so that's a relief.
Anyway. I'm so glad I didn't have to face this entirely blindly. Your kindness and reassurance have helped more than I can say.
Luna, I had no idea you were worrying about whether you'd be allowed to come back to Hogwarts.
They managed with me, for seven years. I was a Prefect, in fact. That's why the Shrieking Shack was built; it's where I went during my transformations. It was, admittedly, a secret. But I was also an ordinary 11-year-old, a good student but entirely ordinary aside from being a werewolf. You're a heroine, a long-time member of the Order, someone who was bitten during the May Battle.
If anyone TRIED to keep you out -- if it were even a possibility, that they'd keep you out -- I would personally burn this school to the GROUND.
This is your school. You got your bite DEFENDING this school.
You have just as much -- you have a BETTER right than anyone to be here.
I suppose my fears seem quite foolish when they're looked at that way. Well, I know my thinking has certainly been muddled.
I didn't suppose I was going to a werewolf enclave, of course. But I didn't really know what was going to happen to me. Everything is so up in the air, all the old laws being thrown out, you see. The fact that I was bit was not a secret about me, either. Lavender has said she knows she owes me a life debt, but I think Mrs Brown wasn't particularly keen at the idea of having someone staying with them might happen to be a werewolf.
***
Picking up my quill again: I just spoke with Mrs Weasley, who stopped by to see how I was doing. I was a bit teary after reading what you wrote above, and she asked me about it. She was quite shocked, and she said, 'But of course you're not going back to the Browns! Your home is back with us at the Burrow, isn't it?' It was such a lovely feeling: I thought 'well, of course it is'--but I hadn't quite realised it, and no one had said anything.
I suppose it takes an effort to uproot old ways of thinking. I have a real home, and I'm not going to be rejected, I'm not.
It just takes a little while to get used to it.
I imagine a lot of the students have fears about what is going to happen to them.
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I'm terribly groggy. Achy. Exhausted. A little restless, but nothing like before the moon. I suppose you must feel that way, too, every month? I don't have any idea if it would be worse or better if I had completely transformed.
Also, rather embarrassed. About some of the things that Terry must have seen. I am going to write to him to thank him, because he really did help, but I'm afraid it will be a little awkward. I mean, I was glad he was there in the end, really glad. But I don't know if I can ask it of him to do it again next month.
There isn't much dignity about it, is there? None at all, really.
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The days before the moon got better at some point. Your body and mind adjust a bit. Not that I'm exactly in a good mood, mind you, but I can manage. You'll get used to it. Next month won't be as bad.
It is not dignified. Nothing about it is dignified. But that's true of so much, Luna. Think of the other wounds that people suffered in the battle where you were bitten. There's no particular dignity to suffer a curse that leaves you unconscious in a pool of your bodily fluids, carried to the hospital wing by a benevolent friend; there's nothing dignified about nightmares or panic attacks. The dignity comes in how you got those wounds, doesn't it?
I don't know if you've ever read the obituary I wrote for Arthur Weasley, where I said that when he gave his life, he didn't see Dominic Selwyn as a Death Eater but as a fellow human being in mortal danger.
You did the same, you know; you didn't see Lavender as the pureblood bully who did her best to make your life miserable You saw her as a fellow human being in mortal danger, and you went to her aid. And you paid a price. It's a price you get to live with for the rest of your life. Which will hopefully be long, and happy for 27 days out of every 28.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'll blame it on the moon.
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I'm glad to hear the full moons will most likely get better for me. You're right: this isn't any different than any number of kinds of wounds. That gives me a little more courage to write to Terry. And I should write to Hermione, too. Sally-Anne told me she was there for a little while.
I do remember what you wrote for Mr Weasley. You're kind...I became rather choked up at the suggestion I might be even a little bit like him. I did love and admire him quite a lot.
I've wondered whether I would be allowed to return to Hogwarts next year. (If the school will even open, of course.) I think the fact that I didn't transform will mean there will be less obstacles, so that's a relief.
Anyway. I'm so glad I didn't have to face this entirely blindly. Your kindness and reassurance have helped more than I can say.
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They managed with me, for seven years. I was a Prefect, in fact. That's why the Shrieking Shack was built; it's where I went during my transformations. It was, admittedly, a secret. But I was also an ordinary 11-year-old, a good student but entirely ordinary aside from being a werewolf. You're a heroine, a long-time member of the Order, someone who was bitten during the May Battle.
If anyone TRIED to keep you out -- if it were even a possibility, that they'd keep you out -- I would personally burn this school to the GROUND.
This is your school. You got your bite DEFENDING this school.
You have just as much -- you have a BETTER right than anyone to be here.
no subject
I suppose my fears seem quite foolish when they're looked at that way. Well, I know my thinking has certainly been muddled.
I didn't suppose I was going to a werewolf enclave, of course. But I didn't really know what was going to happen to me. Everything is so up in the air, all the old laws being thrown out, you see. The fact that I was bit was not a secret about me, either. Lavender has said she knows she owes me a life debt, but I think Mrs Brown wasn't particularly keen at the idea of having someone staying with them might happen to be a werewolf.
***
Picking up my quill again: I just spoke with Mrs Weasley, who stopped by to see how I was doing. I was a bit teary after reading what you wrote above, and she asked me about it. She was quite shocked, and she said, 'But of course you're not going back to the Browns! Your home is back with us at the Burrow, isn't it?' It was such a lovely feeling: I thought 'well, of course it is'--but I hadn't quite realised it, and no one had said anything.
I suppose it takes an effort to uproot old ways of thinking. I have a real home, and I'm not going to be rejected, I'm not.
It just takes a little while to get used to it.
I imagine a lot of the students have fears about what is going to happen to them.