Order Only: Private message to Padfoot

[alt_lupin]

Are you a dog at the moment?

Comments

[alt_sirius]

Er. No? I admit I've been tempted all day - well, all week, if I'm honest - but I've been resisting. Didn't want to make you feel worse for not being able to transform and forget about everything for a while.

Why, do you need me to be?

[alt_lupin]

No, it's more that if you WERE a dog at the moment I didn't want to waste my time writing to you.

I'm trying to add up numbers from some of the documents Alice left behind and I've done it three times and gotten three completely different results. Whose idea was it to make me Alice's backup, anyway? They were a lunatic.

It's not that I like transforming but this is the sort of month that makes me think it's the lesser evil. Poor Luna.

[alt_sirius]

Oh, maths. No, Padfoot won't be much help there. Pity, I was hoping perhaps there was someone you needed me to growl at, or something.

Just use the calculatus spell, do you remember it, from the map? It'll do the sums. Might give you more than you need, I suppose.

Or don't do it. It'll keep, surely.

[alt_lupin]

I did it twice with calculatus and got two answers. Added it up the hard way and got a third. I think I'm going to have to leave this for Alice to deal with.

I don't need you to growl at anyone; I'm entirely capable of growling at people myself. If you want to come up here and be pleasant and personable so I don't have to talk to anyone, that might work.

Knowing that the entire Order is not in a conspiracy to irritate me is not making people less irritating.

[alt_sirius]

We're in trouble if I'm supposed to be the reasonable, placating one. That's never happening today.

Anyway, you're not the only one itching. I wanted -

I don't know what I wanted. Want. I want people to tell me they're sorry but I want people to leave me the fuck alone. I want a big acknowledgement of his sacrifice and I want to spend the day in a form where I don't have to think about it at all. I want them to tell me what they remember about him, but not ask me to share my memories, because they're too few and too precious to squander.

I want him back. I want to be done with this stupid war. I want to resurrect Tom Riddle just so I can kill him with my bare hands this time.

See. Not very reasonable.

[alt_lupin]

Those all sound reasonable.

Except for resurrecting Tom Riddle. Settle for killing Bellatrix Lestrange, instead.

[alt_sirius]

Oh, well, if you're going to start down that path, there's more than Bella. Barty, Dolohov - that list could take us a while.

Maybe we'll be lucky and they'll poke their heads out of London where we can get to them.

[alt_sirius]

I find myself wishing Draco and Hermione were both here.

Or that we could start receiving shipments from outside before the 1^st. Or that I hadn't given Allie my last good spliff.

[alt_lupin]

Hermione would be perfect. Let's have Alice leave her in charge next time.

[alt_sirius]

Ha. Too bad she's entirely overtaken by the Sleeper project.

Where's she gone this time, anyway? I can't even keep track. Probably she and Draco are the lucky ones, getting to consume themselves with work. Now that the anti-polyjuice barrier is finished, I haven't even got that to tinker with.

[alt_lupin]

Alice left me a note telling me where Hermione is (and Justin, and Draco, and all the others on assignments taking them far from the castle).

Of course, I can't find it now. So I can't tell you where she is.

[alt_sirius]

It doesn't matter, I wasn't really asking.

You know what would help us both? A ride. Fancy going out on the bike?

[alt_lupin]

Yeah, I do, but then who's going to answer urgent questions from

You know what, they can manage without me for an hour. I'll see you in five minutes.